I went to Simi Valley to visit my mom for Christmas. A friend drove me because I could not drive that day because of a back injury. When he picked me up after a few days (which I thought was the coolest thing ever to do that for me), I asked him if we could please try to get a picture of my twin sisters peacock friend at the old house where they used to live. This beautiful bird used to visit her and my niece Madison and I wanted to surprise her. My friend was grumpy and said no. I did plead a little because it was a worthy cause since I did not know when I’d be back out that way.
So we left in a hurry I got a picture of their favorite house and a little video too and sent it to my twin sis Jessie DiConti. We had a very long drive ahead, so we took off. About an hour into our ride I had to use the restroom and asked if we could find a restaurant. He grumbled some, but he pulled off the highway in Pasadena and looked around for a restaurant. He was grumpy because he thought I was a little picky for wanting a cleaner restroom than what he suggested at a gas station.
He quickly found a diner. He mentioned he was hungry earlier, but when I asked him if I could get him breakfast, he said, “naaaa…” I asked him again before going into the diner if he wanted a coffee or food. He mumbled, “no I just want to get going!” I knew he was hungry so I ordered the two most decadent muffins I could find (he loves sweets) and ran into the restroom while they bagged them up.
I got back in the car and offered them to him, and he did look twice as I pulled out the first carrot cake cream, cheese muffin. I nibbled a little to get the smell in his nostrils 🙂 He said he just wanted to get back on the freeway and get going. He attempted to go down a road he thought would get him back on the 210 highway but got lost. Even worse his navigator had him doing circles, and we ended up on this peaceful residential street. He was getting angrier. I told him I was ready to get out of the car and just get an Uber. It was uncomfortable seeing him like this because he was a happy guy.
What happened next will be backed up by photos and video 🙂
He drove down a residential street pretty upset, and I was starting to lose my (let’s cheer up my friend composure for a peaceful drive) I prayed for peace. All of a sudden there were peacocks EVERYWHERE! I mean on every front lawn, even a rooftop, a fence and just walking around. I got excited (Irritated him more at first…) I said, oh my gosh! God brought us Peacocks! Look!!! Peacocks everywhere! He looked baffled, amazed and in shock! He had to stop the car because they would have made anyone stop! I smiled from ear to ear, and I said to him. You can leave if you want, I’m staying, and I’ll call Uber. I just felt blessed, and peace washed over me. I needed to be in my gratitude and free him of me!
I was so happy, and I was also sensitive to whatever bothered him, I just couldn’t help, and He was the one who planned the drive to get me and wanted me to have this visit with my mom for Christmas. He was genuine, and something had happened to change his mood. To this day I will never know, but he was upset. He waited in the car for me though; I was surprised. He allowed me to do my thing. I walked up and down the street mesmerized by these peacocks, and he just looked around through his window. When I got back in that car after getting some quick video and photos, we both said, “Now that was God!”
The remainder of the ride was laughter excitement, and he grabbed that bag of muffins and ate them right up with a mischievous smile on his face. “He was back!
Welcome to my Blog! I am so happy you stopped by! The pages in my book of life are many! My hope is to inspire and empower anyone who stops by here to read a post. I believe life is meant to shape us into more loving individuals and to show us our life purpose! Your path is significant and many people will learn from everything you do! Your success, your mistakes, obstacles you overcome and choices leave a footprint. Never underestimate the impact you have in the lives of others. We all affect one another.
Noel Meeks – Not many people have heard about Noel Meeks, my cowboy angel and how he was an impact in my life while I battled stage 3 breast cancer and some other hardships such as a boyfriend cheating on me and a knee replacement put in crooked. I had a lot of pain in my heart and my body. I miss Noel. He was a cowboy, a cancer warrior, and friend.
It was Spring 2007, Noel was at the end of his battle with cancer while I was heading towards victory in mine with stage 3 breast cancer, I just didn’t realize it. My body hurt everywhere from all the previous surgeries and especially the most recent one which was a corrective knee replacement surgery. I still had 25 stitches in my knee when I took that trip to Arizona. Getting there was hell because the flight was delayed! I sat in the Seattle airport for several hours because of bad weather. I was only days following my knee surgery, and my pain meds were packed away in my luggage already checked in for my flight. I cried from the excruciating pain. What was I thinking! I was a go getter and I wanted to live, so I did not let that surgery stop me from traveling to a little clinic that would boost my immune system after battling cancer, staph infection and just a compromised immune system. I wanted to live.
When I finally arrived at the Arizona clinic, my pain was not manageable yet, and I did not want to talk to any of the other patients. I was timid anyway when it came to meeting strangers. It took me a while to trust and open up.
Noel was one of the five patients there receiving treatment. He was a rugged cowboy with a horse ranch in Wyoming. Noel had been through hell and back with chemotherapy and suffered from neuropathy from the side effects of chemotherapy. He had numbness in his feet and hands and walked off balance because of it. I learned from the staff that Noel did not talk much to anyone. I just laid down, hurting with stitches in my leg, a broken heart from my boyfriend cheating and the fear of having stage 3 cancer. I was a physical and emotional wreck. I was also mourning the loss of my aunt who had lost her battle to cancer the day before I set out to AZ. I was just sad and broken inside and out.
About one week into treatment at this clinic which no longer exists, Noel and I sat outside on a patio in the sun several feet apart from each other soaking up the rays. I would write in my journal and keep to myself. One day he asked me “So what do you write in that little book of yours” I was writing everything I was feeling and my experience there. That is how our friendship started. So after about an hour of yelling back and forth to one another attempting to start a conversation with the great distance of our chairs being so far we both laughed, and he finally moved his chair closer.
We talked real with each other. Noel trusted me slowly. I remember a winding staircase outside in the back of the building that went up to the rooftop. I stood there one day looking up, and I remember hanging on to the railing, just daydreaming about the future and my past. I was suddenly snapped out of my thoughts when I heard Noel yell out, “Damn, woman are you crazy; you want to go up those stairs with your leg like that, don’t even think about doing that alone!”
I said, “Well, I do but I won’t!” I then told him the truth of what I wanted. I said, ” I want to see the desert from up high on that roof, and for me, it felt like getting higher up allowed me to free of cancer. I knew it would feel liberating and I wanted just a moment to feel like I was climbing a mountain.
He hobbled up from his chair. He was always wobbly on his feet because of the numbness of his feet. He said he had chemo brain and chemo feet! Regardless, he was eager to help me. Together, we slowly did the climb up those stairs, it hurt, but we did it. The view was worth it! The desert was so vast and beautiful in its unique way. The Sonora cactus and prickly bushes all across the desert. Seeing the orange wildflowers that managed to blossom in such rugged terrain gave me hope. If a delicate flower can bloom under the harshest of conditions, maybe I could too!
I had traveled far, leaving the green lushness of Seattle. It’s little moments like that which can transcend you and restore a somewhat diminished spirit. I felt taller, freer and more capable just by breathing in the view of a new kind of beauty.
I thought about Noel a lot during those days. A real cowboy with a ranch in Wyoming. He said he had 120 horses and that one day when I got well I could come out and learn to ride. He was stoic and old enough to be my father. I guess you could say he was the strong silent type.
I could make this man laugh, though, and that was some feat considering his condition. He was very sick.
I was going to fly home see my daughter in Las Vegas. I missed her, and he knew it. He felt his time was running out and wanted to have one last visit with some friends of his in Las Vegas. The visual of us together was comical. I had been dependent on a walker from the knee surgery and could not put weight on my leg because of the three pins in my knees. He insisted on walking without the can he usually used and stumbled a lot. He came up with a brilliant plan to push me in a wheelchair through the casinos, and I think he used the wheelchair to stable himself a bit. I worried about him, but he said, you can’t walk, and I want you with me because you make me laugh. I spent a day with him like that, and we all had a fantastic dinner that night with his friends. It was the best time I had not experienced in quite some time.
He talked about death and life and I was quiet, and a little closed about contributing to the topic. He was coming to terms with his end of life, and I wanted nothing to do with the subject! He talked about his sister and his hometown. I couldn’t see how many times he stumbled while pushing me around in the wheelchair, but I know he did. He laughed and said to me, “Now see, isn’t this better than going back to Washington and dealing with a bad break-up!” You need to laugh girl. I did laugh, and he was right. I worried about him overexerting himself, but there wasn’t a thing I could do about it. I was out of my element, and it was good for me because there were only two other people that knew how to do that with me. My best friend Heather Rayburn and my daughter Jessica. I was terrified of dying myself, yet we were laughing, and for that time we were quite alive!
I just have so many stories I could tell about friends who became family, and in this picture, by the time it was taken, Noel Meeks was my family. Time is irrelevant when it comes to bonding. It is the impact and what is happening between two individuals that matter. It is trust built because of empathizing with each other and having compassion. I trusted Noel and I know it was mutual. There is more about this man, so much more. When I think about it I get tears just knowing that I was spending time with a man that accepted death with a smile. He was amazing.
Noel lost his battle, and I remember I was just about to mail him my victory photo but needed to get his address. He had a landline at the ranch and his cell phone. In a flash, I remembered something that loomed over me. When we parted ways, he said,” If he were ever unreachable by both phones if I were to call him, that meant he had finally gone to meet his maker. I dialed his cell phone number first. The line was disconnected, my hands were shaking as I dialed the second number of his ranch phone. I just heard a disconnect recording.
Noel had said the last time we spoke about me coming out to visit and see his horses that he changed his mind and he did not want me to see him again because he wanted me just to remember him the pleasant way it was in Arizona and Las Vegas. I was beginning to realize that it was about the time he was nearing his last days. I didn’t want to believe he was gone, so I called around, and I confirmed it later that he was gone. The short time and memories together flooded me. I may not have known about Noel’s whole life, but I know he “loved” I experienced his courage, I experienced him defending me at one point and saw that he was not a quitter. He accepted “what was.” like a gentleman, and he just amazed me!
I experienced him at the end of his life. He knew it was ending, and this man had dignity. He never criticized me, and he always lifted me up. He always talked to me as if his messages were something he never wanted me to forget. It meant everything to him that I understand my value and remember his words. He said it was my determination and strength that would save my life, and he said, “your strength and forthrightness will threaten men.” He said, for me not to take that the wrong way and that it was better to be wise and strong instead of stupid and broken.
He said,” You are going to live a healthy happy life and love again. So promise me you won’t settle for bullsh**t from guys! He said, “Promise me, Shannon!” “These men know what they are doing and pretend that they don’t. He told me to take care of myself.
So now I understand what he was trying to say. I believe we meet people for a reason. Noel knew I had a boyfriend that was not faithful to me during my battle as we kept talking day after day. When I finally told him my boyfriend’s name and that he was from Wyoming he mentioned he was also from Wyoming. The craziest thing was that Noel knew him! He knew my boyfriend’s family. He had gone to school with my boyfriend’s mother. We both just about fell out of our seats when we discovered this. I was from Seattle he was from Wyoming, we both traveled far to Arizona to fight and try to save our lives. There was only five patients total.
“Noel Meeks, I still hear your solid cowboy advice! I will never give up that softer side of me, but I have wizened up, it does take a while. I will stay the way I am for the most part, but I have learned to keep my eyes wide open. Your picture with me in the desert on our last day there is a reminder to stay true to me. We covered some new ground in our conversations, and we had a change of perspective on many issues concerning life and death. By the time this photo of us was taken we had a bond I never thought I’d have with anyone.
Since our last days together I have arrived to many crossroads in my life where things like this happened to me. I think of the coincidence of meeting and how God brings us together for our journey lessons. I am an optimist, and we can learn or complain. Noel, you were a change angel for me. The memories are what kept me going on the right path all my life. I am ready for life’s next lesson, and I know it does not have to mean a break-up or be at the expense of me having a broken heart. I want to keep growing in love and compassion. I never question why my life was hard because we can always be in 100% more difficult circumstances if we dare to think about it. I say, let’s count our blessings and just work through it, hang on to my integrity and try to get a new perspective. After all, it’s the only thing any of us have real control over.
Noel, you were right, I’m different, quirky as you put it, some people don’t get me, and I don’t mind it anymore because my path is much clearer and it takes a unique person to lead. I don’t want to be like everyone else. I want to be different, authentic and embrace all of who I am.
RIP my dear friend; I will see you later, much later Noel Meeks.
There are no guarantees on life or death but there is always HOPE!
Just because one doctor or one hospital says to you, “Nothing else can be done to save you from cancer” This does not mean it is true! THIS IS A LIE! I was told this very same lie. The doctors meant well but they are not God, they did not know of every healing therapy in our world! I survived because I chose not to believe in their limitations as a truth. They obviously did not know the potential of my body’s ability to heal! Why me? I’m not extraordinary and more worthy of healing than you! We all have hope and potential. It varies but there are many of us out there who healed from stage 4 cancer.Doctors who say this don’t want to take responsibility for giving patients hope; even if it is slim. I would never back down from a fight to save my life! If I give up death is certain. If I don’t give up, I have hope for healing!I’m a little riled up today and angry! This is a right to one of my God-given emotions! I’m furious! I cannot believe that so many stage 4 cancer patients are told there is nothing else to be done. I know MANY survivors of stage 4, and this is absolutely a horrible thing for them say to them! WHY NOT GIVE PATIENTS THE TRUTH! There is always HOPE! THE DOCTORS DOING THIS TO THEM ARE FORGETTING COMPASSION. Most of all they are following the book on what to say to patients when they have run out of drugs to try or they say this to patients who refuse the chemo just I as I refused!There is not a guarantee of life with ANY treatment, but HOPE is something you can still give to your patients! I understand when the vital signs are poor and they are truly too ill to fight that you need to prepare family. Compassion is not saying, give up and get your affairs in order to someone who drove their car feeling perfectly fine and telling them there is nothing else to be done for them. It is only a guarantee that there is NOTHING ELSE YOU CAN DO, and that your hands are tied by the FDA on what you are PERMITTED to use for treatment. All of us know there are survival stories out there and patients are leaving the country to continue trying to fight for their life!Cancer warriors who are angry because you tried plan A or plan B and it did not work. You feel a burst of fight still in you? If so then you can still try plan C, D or E! Try all the letters and then there are numbers. I had hope and am alive because of it. I couldn’t give up! I held on to hope.Doctors, it is more ethical to give your patients hope that there COULD BE ANOTHER WAY (whisper it in your patient’s ear to not give up and say, “You didn’t hear it from me” Keep fighting. Is that so hard to do? Just tell them that others have recovered with other cancer alternative treatments which unfortunately they are unable able to offer legally. Their hands are tied by our FDA so they cannot try other treatments with you that could work and heal you. Their chemo may not have worked for you, but this does not mean it is over!!! This does not mean you are destined to die! No guarantees yet anywhere but still, there are other available treatments and ways to keep fighting. People are beating stage 4! It is not a death sentence!
When one doctor GIVES UP, or a hospital says they cannot save you all this means is that “THEY cannot save you! ” That is their TRUTH
Their truth will scare you, it will make you believe all is lost but it is only true for this facility, and they have just revealed to you the limit of THEIR ABILITIES!
UCLA gave me a death sentence of a year or less left to live in 2010! SERIOUSLY!? It’s now 2018 and I am free of disease! My whole family believed the lies too and were terrified!
Fear makes us panic, have anxiety and fall to a million pieces, and we believe lies.
THERE IS STILL HOPE!
THERE IS ALWAYS HOPE!
FAITH IS IMPORTANT!
When fear subsides, let your intuition guide you! That’s what I did. That’s what my sister did. Quiet the mind and the noise of anxiety and fearful thoughts circling in a frenzy in your mind.
It’s been seven years since I first walked into CMN Hospital for their ACT protocol (Alternative Cancer Treatment). I put together a list of the most frequent questions I am asked. I want to emphasize that choosing your cancer treatment is a very personal choice and there are many options. I am sharing with you from my personal journey of completely healing stage 4 metastatic breast cancer without chemo.
Q. What Hospital did I go to for Alternative Cancer treatment? A.CMN Alternative Cancer Treatment. An inpatient facility that has a team of all specialties and an ICU should anything happen while you are out of your country you will be in very good hands right there at the hospital. This includes pulmonary, orthopedic gynecology etc. Cancer can have complications and they are included in your care. www.cmnact.com
Q.What kind and stage of cancer did I have? A. I had stage 4 Breast Cancer ER and PR Positive with metastasis to bones and all lobes of my lungs
Q. Did I do chemotherapy ever? A. No, Not ever.
Q. How long since you got treatment? A. 7 years February 7th I went to CMN. August 201, I was completely symptom-free.October 15th 2011, I got the confirmation from a PET CT scan NED (No Evidence of Disease)
Q. Did my twin sister (She also survived breast cancer ) do chemotherapy? Do we have the BRCA gene? A. My twin sister went to CMN hospital for alternative cancer treatment as well. She is past her 2-year mark of being completely disease free. We do not have the BRCA gene. Here is our twin interview. http://onewildflower.com/wildflower-interviews/
Q. Where is CMN Alternative Cancer Treatment? A. It is in San Luis, Rio Colorado Sonora Mexico. which is a very quiet little town. The people are kind and receive foreigners warmly
Q. Why did I choose CMN Hospital? A. It is a well-established hospital that has been around for about 35 years. The advanced treatments were what I sought after.
Q.Why are there no patient testimonies on their website. A. CMN Doctors do not believe in exploiting cancer patients for marketing purposes. Patients are fighting for their lives and are scared. Most importantly they believe in the oath they swore. The Hippocratic Oath and every variation of it say they promise to keep patient information private so they absolutely keep your information safe from the worldwide web.
Q. What is the success rate of CMN? A. I urge you to read my article because To answer this question best for all hospitals because we are not clones and everyone handles cancer differently (including self-treatment before going to a hospital). The Truth About the Cancer Success Rate
BONUS Question and Answer #11 Q. What was your diet like during your cancer treatment? A. I am learning that much of our diet is not about what we eat as much as it is about what’s eating at us. That being said, I worked on the emotional healing and I ate pretty healthily, to begin with. However, I made a few changes like cutting animal protein down to about 20%of my normal intake. I cut out sugar by approximately 80%. That is it while I was healing my body. Today I have cut out gluten because I was getting tummy aches and horrible headaches and realized I have a sensitivity to it. I take digestive enzymes and other supplements like bone broth, collagen and I drink Ionized alkaline water.
BONUS Question and Answer #12 Q. What is the cost? A. Call them 844-371-1117
CMN’s Admins are warm, kind and genuinely care. They will give you great information without pestering you in the future. They will never call you back unless you asked them to. So ask away! <3
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